They say it’s going to snow this week here in Jerusalem, and I have to say, I hope it doesn’t. I want sunshine and warmth – not icy cold. Especially since I am sick and it feels like I’m coughing up a lung all day long.
And it turns out there’s a reason we haven’t been getting the central heating that’s supposed to be working in our apartment – the pipes for the water heater are totally rotten and that’s why the wall in our living room is soaked and there is mold there and on the ceiling. Yummy, huh? Could also be part of why I’m so sick. So here I sit, listening to them drill our wall down in the other room while I’m supposed to be working (which is the last thing I want to do right now but you can’t exactly call in sick when you work at home, can you?).
Then I think about Dave, and how it’s better to be sick and cold and living in an apartment that was mold-infested and is now getting drilled apart than it is to be dead. So here’s to you, mate – I’ll try to minimize my whining, for you.
I just found out that someone I know, or knew, died. He was 22. I’m kind of in shock – this kind of thing isn’t supposed to happen. I met him through one of my first jobs here in Israel, working with young Jewish leaders around the world. He was one of those from Australia, and a great, great person. We were never close, but he was always smiling and in a good mood, and I liked him. He was robbed, his family and friends too. Someone told me that you have to figure that God had a larger plan, but really that’s only a minimal comfort to someone grieving over the life of a child, isn’t it? Anyhow the best I can say is rest well, Dave.
It has been a long while since I’ve written – and a long time since I’ve felt inspired to write. But I’m getting it back, so let’s see how it goes this time around.
There have been a lot of changes in my life while I wasn’t writing. I quit my job, visited San Francisco, moved in with my boyfriend when I got back here, started several new jobs, and have found a dream job that I will be starting a week from Sunday. It has been a challenging and wonderful time, with more ups and downs than I ever would have thought I could want. Working from home, in the apartment I’m still getting used to living with my boyfriend, is not a great idea. Winter sucks and I HATE being cold. But I love it all, in the end. I am more committed to this relationship than I ever have been before, I love him more than I’ve ever loved any guy I was seeing, I have great friends and I’m going to be starting a job I didn’t dare dream of finding.
Well that’s the basic update. I hope to continue posting more often, since I do love this and miss it. I’m back in the game!
Quite a number of expats work out at the same gym as me. Completely American with no connection to Israel or the Jewish people, these men stand out like sore thumbs in this city filled with people from every place you can imagine. Even the Southeast Asian workers fit in more than they do.
I have made friends with some of these guys, in the gym. I’m not really sure why – they tend to stick to themselves – some combination of fluent English, my serious approach to working out (unlike most Israelis who seem to approach it as more of a social exercise) and not looking down on them for not being Jewish or interested in Judaism. Maybe.
One is already quite a good friend. Last night, I gained a few more when I went to eat barbeque, drink beer and watch football. It was me and five of them, all of whom I recognized and two of whom I would already consider kind-of-friends. They tracked the stats online as we watched, swore like militarymen, talked shit about a girl who one of them had been involved with and was now trying to extract himself from, and talked shit about each other and the other guys they work with. One spent the first hour quietly reading a playboy cover to cover, then dozed as he watched the game.
It was so much fun. In the beginning I asked if I was allowed to ask questions and was told, “It depends on the question. Ask and we’ll let you know if it’s better to keep your mouth shut.” I kept my mouth shut.
I miss things like this, just hanging out without politics or religion being discussed or even mentioned. When I moved here part of what I loved (and still love) about it is that people know about issues, and they care, and they can and will discuss it whenever, wherever. But there is something to be said for being able to just let it all go, watch the game and talk as much bullshit as you can about everything. Oh and I am proud to report that I even know who won (Green Bay) and that I asked an intelligent question about lateral passing! I don’t remember the answer.
Back when I was living in the dorms, sometimes I would just have white rice and ketchup for dinner. Either that, or Lucky Charms. (It wasn’t the healthiest of times in my life.) While I have moved on to exploring actual food groups, the rice and ketchup combo remains a comfort food for me.
Big times are coming up in my life. New job(s), visiting the US for the first time in over a year, and the biggest: I’m moving in with my guy.
This is a good thing. It is also huge. We have not been together for very long, but it feels… right. Of course, there are a million concerns – is it too much too soon, what about when we fight, how are we going to handle the financial burden, what if he decides I’m too much (or not enough), what if (enter any paranoid and/or valid thought here), etc. It still feels right.
There has been some friend drama. I messed up telling one of the dearest people to me, and I can’t make it better. But we will be ok, because our friendship is more than my fuckup. And I’m glad. I’m going to need all the support I can get!
I’m happy and scared and excited and cautious and everything all at once. It’s a tumultuous time for me.
So I had white rice with ketchup tonight. And everything’s gonna be all right.
and going up North this weekend 🙂
It is holiday time – I turned 24, my 2 best friends also had their birthdays, it was the Jewish new year and now Sukkot is coming, which means a week and a half off work!
Life is good.