As commented in the last entry, my hope and joy for the new year seems a bit naive now. I don’t want to get into too much details, but let me just say that the meetings that I thought would motivate my work in new and greater directions, did kind of the opposite. Changes were made that have thrown everything up in the air, and I’m feeling very unstable and unhappy with them. I guess it will take some time to really know all the repercussions, but I’m not optimistic. The whole week was spent dealing with long exhausting meetings, the upheaval, the most forgettable New Year’s ever, etc.
On top of this, a best friend is being stalked and threatened (which is also being extended to a roommate, because she won’t cooperate with the stalker). Our apartment has become a fortress, with all of us thinking about it all the time. I am ready to kill this bastard who is making my friends’ lives (and mine, by extension) such hell.
There was something good this week. I got a Christmas package from my family! I almost cried when I opened the box and saw the cheery holiday wrapping. Thanks Dad, Nancy, Jess and Keir! You are the best ever and by the way, the coffee is delicious, the pajama pants are HILARIOUS (I’m wearing them every night), and I love the rest of the presents, also. With all the crap going on at work, that package was exactly what I needed.
What it also did, though, was remind me of the other part of me, the non-Jewish, non-Israeli part. The thing is, even though I’m Jewish, I love Christmas. This year, I missed the lights, the festive feeling in the air, the carols, the tree, etc. I had no one to wish Merry Christmas to at Congress, and it made me a little sad. It served to highlight that I’m not exactly like everyone else here, who couldn’t care less about things like Christmas. I care. It’s hard to be in a position where you don’t fit in 100% anywhere. Not that anyone really does in today’s world, but it seemed even more obvious to me this holiday season.
So Merry belated Christmas, Happy belated New Year, and may your 2007 be better than my first week of the new year (shouldn’t be too hard)!